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motto. There will always be time to get a divorce. While if a divorce
has been obtained, even if you regret it, you will most likely stay
divorced. Many divorced couples, I imagine, would remarry, if they
were not ashamed. They fear it would make them ridiculous--and it
would--in their friends' eyes.
=Outsiders in Domestic Tangles=
If you have a disagreement with your husband, try to straighten out
the tangle yourself. Don't call in outside help. You will regret it. A
stranger's paws are too coarse and too unsympathetic to meddle with
the delicate adjustments which constitute marital life, and after you
have gotten over your disagreement and are again living harmoniously
you will be ashamed to look that third party in the face, and you will
probably bear a grudge against him--or her.
Altogether outsiders are not fit to mix in the internal differences
between husband and wife. It is absolutely impossible for a stranger
to know just where the trouble is and who the guilty party is.
Sometimes there is no guilty party. Both husband and wife may be
right; they may both be lovely people and still together they may form
an incompatible, explosive mixture. And then again the party that to
outsiders may seem the angelic one may in reality be the devilish one.
It is a well-known fact that people who to the outside world may seem
the personification of honor and good nature may be very devils at
home. I have long ago given up not only meddling in, but even judging,
domestic disharmonies. For it is almost impossible for an outsider to
judge justly. I knew a husband who was considered a paragon of virtue.
And when a clash came between him and his wife everybody was inclined
to blame the wife. But it came out later that the husband had certain
ways about him which made the wife's life a very torture. And vice
versa. I know of another case where the wife was considered the
sweetest thing in the world. She had nice ways about her, but she
disliked her husband and made his life a hell. With genuine chivalry
he bore everything, believing that it was a man's duty to bear his
cross. She was unfaithful to him, but she was so clever and cunning
that neither he nor anybody else suspected it. The fact became
painfully patent to him, when on one of the rare occasions that they
came together she infected him with a venereal disease, which
incapacitated him for a long time. Nobody knew why he insisted upon a
separation, and everybody, with the exception of his physician and
perhaps one or two others, was blaming him for an unfeeling brute.
I will therefore repeat that as a general thing domestic tangles
should be untangled by the tanglers themselves. It is not safe to call
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