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involved in the sexual relationships, as in all other relationships,
and unless we are to continue to perpetuate _many evils and
injustices_, that fact has to be faced and recognized."
I have devoted considerable space to this topic, and I have, contrary
to my custom, quoted "authorities," because I consider this point of
the utmost importance; it is the first step in combating the demon of
jealousy. If our wives, fiancees and sweethearts could be convinced of
the truth that a man's interest in or even affection towards another
member of the female sex does not mean the death of love, or even
diminished love, half of the battle would be won. Half of the misery,
half of the quarrels, half of the self-torture, half of the disrupted
homes, in short, half of the tyrannical reign of the demon of
jealousy, would be gone.
We must teach our women and men this truth, teach it from puberty on.
We must show them that not every woman can necessarily fill out a
man's entire life, that not every woman can necessarily occupy every
nook and corner of a man's mind and heart, and that there is nothing
humiliating to the woman in such an idea (and _vice versa_). She
should be taught to find nothing shameful, painful or degrading in
such a thought. I know that these ideas are somewhat in advance of the
times, but if nobody ever brought forward any advanced ideas because
they were advanced there would never be any advance.
Then we must teach our men that when they marry a woman she does not
become their chattel, their piece of property, which nobody may touch,
nobody may look at or smile at. A woman may be a very good, faithful
wife and still enjoy the companionship of other men, the pressure of
another man's hand or--_horribile dictu_--even an occasional kiss.
Then we must teach our men _and_ women that there is essentially
nothing shameful or humiliating in being displaced by a rival. The
change may be a disgrace for the changer and not for the changed one.
It does not at all mean that the change has been made because the
rival is superior; it is a well-known fact that the rival often _is_
inferior. The change is often made, not because the changer has gone
upward, but because he has gone downward, has deteriorated. And the
changer often knows it himself.
Inculcating those ideas would do away with the feeling of wounded
vanity which is such an important component in the feeling of
Further, we must teach our children from the earliest age that
jealousy is "not nice," that it is a mean feeling, that it is a sign
of weakness, that it is degrading to the person who entertains it,
particularly to the person who exhibits it. Ideas inculcated from
childhood have a powerful influence, and the various ideas exposed
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